|The PICC line stays in his arm, semi permanently|
Monday, December 12, 2011
What pushes me out of bed even on mornings that prophesies a cold day ahead?
Cycle two/ day 41 of chemo
sherry & terence
Today is Sunday- a day of fellowship with believers. Being pastors, we don't miss many days and today was no exception. In fact, since Terence's diagnoses, he has only missed one day due to sickness. It's not an "attendance" thing, it's a "passion" thing. He has such a deep passion to preach the word that he refuses to miss a day (that day came just a few days prior to his chemo therapy session).
He shared the word today, a great word in fact, and loved the fellowship. Unbeknownst to anyone in the room, he was in great discomfort. By the time we made it home, he took his shower and readied himself for bed.
He wasn't running a fever thank goodness, but his bladder is causing some pain; he is having to self catheterize 2x day now, because his bladder isn't emptying itself. He is retaining up to 1,000 cc's a day now. It's pretty painful. We have to watch for any type of urinary tract infection (which he is susceptible to any type of infection with low blood cell counts). He deals with the pain of it in general- on top of any other cancer related pain...which when added one on top of the other, makes him even more tired.
After church and just two days before his next chemo infusion he found himself feeling severely nauseated. I couldn't even talk about food, it made him sick. He was tired and in pain. This seems to be a pattern every time he rounds the corner for the next treatment. I wonder if it is the cycle in which the chemo works, I'm not sure. As he tucked himself into bed, he was shaking- the pain was so bad (see his pain chart below. We have to use smiley faces, in order for him to relate honestly to his pain levels!)
I had a great day ministering the word at fellowship today. It strengthens my spirit and enables me to face the day with much anticipation. It also helps to be sitting when I preach!
Having a positive attitude, and hope in God lifts my spirit and pushes me out of bed even on mornings that prophesies a cold day ahead (but sometimes it’s okay to stay beneath the covers, which I hope to do on Wednesday morning, the day after my treatment).
When things seem tough, as they sometimes do
when the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
So for all of you who can’t manage to find hope today, I hope that knowing that you are not alone provides comfort and reassurance that others may feel the same sense of weakness. Sherry and I send you love, and hope you will send out your love as well. I wish you comfort from within, from knowing that love, and how it spiritually incarnates in your life- knowing that the Lord, your comforter will ultimately lift, carry and heal you.
Sherry & Terence