Friday, January 11, 2013

Never Forget

Son, niece and nephews takes 'Cowboy Joe' to the next level in honor of Terence.
January 11, 2013
by sherry

I haven't written in the blog since December 10th.  
Not so much because I've been sad.  
On the contrary, I've been doing pretty good.  The Lord has been restoring my 
joy and healing my heart.  I've enjoyed times out with new and old friends 
and have even begun to find new interests. Prayers are being answered.

Reaching new milestones have still been difficult. Such as welcoming in a new year and
 not celebrating his 50th birthday which was yesterday. It seems the 'kids' have been memorializing Terence with tattoos. My sisters and I text to share memories, or sometimes 
I just call them and cry, either way.

I am copying and pasting an in-box conversation between my sisters Brook and Charla and I today. 
Not for lack of writing material, but to give you a peek-a-boo instant in some of the grief processing we're still doing even after five months..........

  • Sherry Parker Luttrell

    I Just opened and read a weekly email I receive from John Hopkins on the latest Prostate cancer research break through and my mind sorted through the last 3 1/2 years- of living and breathing PCa- wondering and hoping for the next great breakthrough for Terence and it all seemed surreal- like, did all that really happen????
    And then- I begin to remember every little (and big struggle), all the research you guys did, all the time you guys spent over here, and I remember what it all felt like- from the beginning to the end and I told myself, "yeah, it did really happen." 

    Still such painful memories.  I'm working on that.
  • Charla Parker Echlin

    I know. I have updates coming into my inbox too- I need to stop them. The other night I felt bad because that stupid Cancer Centers of America commercial came on and I yelled at the TV that nobody cared anymore. But then felt bad, because there are people in that same place we were 5 months ago...
  • Sherry Parker Luttrell

    I did the same thing! And felt bad too. Weird- I just want to forget but those updates and commercials don't let me.
     I guess we're not supposed to forget.
  • Charla Parker Echlin

    yeah. probably not.
  • Brook Parker Gramann

    I just watched a NY Times video that was featured. A nurse dying from pancreatic cancer who had two months to live and invited other nurses from her alma mater, Holyoke to come in and learn as she was dying. Then yesterday in GodVine a young guy- in his 20s wrote a song about goodbyes. He had bone cancer with a month to live. It is unreal, cancer period. And surreal what you and Terence and the family has experienced the last 3 years. Cancer is the worst, stupid disease. But Terence fought hard and you did all you could to the 1,000th percent!
  • Brook Parker Gramann

    P.S. And remember good memories are there too. The other day I was looking at your wedding vow renewal pictures and thinking how cool was it that the family got to go through that - regardless that Terence was sick and dying. And then all the super quality time you guys got to spend together and with the kids and grandkids before Terence got really sick. Even just sitting outside on your patio spending time together. Invaluable. Many couples and families NEVER get to experience what all of you, us did over the last 3 years. And Terence blessed us with that. Even through his dying and how he handled it and how strong he was and you were/are. It is a gift that has been given to me.

    Nadine and Andrew's tattoos.

    By the way, the photographs in today's blog are a peek-a-boo view into how the kids are dealing with their grief of losing Terence.

    Interesting observation.

    We'll never forget.