Thursday, August 4, 2011

These last 24 months cancer has taken every opportunity to try and divide and conquer our family.

Terence started feeling better this week, so we ventured out to the beach
 Living above cancer takes faith, family and friends.

This whole blog is devoted to our journey with a terminal illness and learning how to live above it, not just with it.  But something happened along the way.  Terence got sicker.  I got madder.
An entire month went by-  Terence,  weary of being sick & worried about me. Me: angry, sad, mad, depressed, did I say angry?  One day we looked at each other and said "We're not living above cancer, we're barely surviving this".  We felt like cancer had our entire family by the tail and was tossing us around like a rag doll.  With our grown children in tow, we gathered together in desperate prayer.

My younger sister Charla, who lives about 2 hours north figured out I was having a rough time and called my oldest daughter Nadine..."Ummmm,.....your mom's not answering her phone..........."   Nadine:"Ummm...that's because she's not leaving her room".

L-R: Younger sister Charla, Older sister Brook and myself
 I was in a dark pit of fear and self pity.  But I just couldn't pull myself out.   I was overwhelmed with my own grief and instead of providing a joyful atmosphere, I generated an atmosphere of gloom and depression.  It effected the entire family.  My sisters helped me...mainly by bringing this to my attention "Get help, Sherry. Get healthy Sherry. Get out of your room Sherry"!

 Cancer really is scary, uncertain and at times extremely sad I am very thankful that we have our friends and family to help us as we navigate the slippery slopes of a terminal illness. 
Thanks to everyone for all of the practical help and prayer; to my sisters who are helping me through the dark clouds of depression; my kids who surround Terence & I daily with their love; music, laughter, hugs, tears and meals; to our friends for kindness and support.

Terminal illness in a family is one of the most devastating things that a family can experience.  It has the potential to break down the bond that holds a family together –the  stress, anxiety can cause issues of conflict among otherwise healthy, loving individuals.

These last 24 months cancer has taken every opportunity to try and divide and conquer our family.  Our values are being tried and tested:  "Love, Honor, Respect, Support each other".  Cancer is hurting all of us, not just Terence.  But we deeply believe in one another and we are literally learning how to walk it out (not just talk it out), every single day!  On Sad days. On mad Days. On good days. Every day.

Living above cancer takes faith, family and friends, that's for sure.

Dinner outside-
(l to r)- Terence, Andrew, Travis, Stacy, Kiley, Eric & Callie

 My sister Charla (left), I and niece Roxanne (right). They are really funny story tellers so they keep me laughing.

Our oldest son Eric, is enlisted in the Navy, but was stationed near us for 2 years because of T's sickness. 

 My family (l to r) Randy, Wayne, (me), Brook, Dad, Charla and Yvette have been a huge inspiration to me: "be happy and stay strong for Terence; we're here for you."

Terence's only sibling, best friend and younger brother Dan lends his ear to Terence often!

My husband  is my hero because he remains faithful to the Lord even after waking up on the 730th day of feeling like he has the flu, and is tenderhearted toward our children because they are learning how to live above cancer too.

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