Sunday, November 21, 2010

When you are overwhelmed, remember: three is better than two.

When you are overwhelmed,
remember: three is better than two.

When Terence's father passed away, my mother passed away 2 days later. We understood the pain of losing a parent and we grieved in concert.  In 22 years of marriage, Terence & I have always understood the others’ pain and suffering and have been there for each other. 

That’s the power of two!

This week was heartrending and frustrating for me.  Terence was downcast.    


That may not seem like a big deal- 
but anyone who knows Terence knows that he is not a downhearted man
He is strong in spirit and a happy man. 

 But because he has been dealing with constant pain and systemic itching with little or no relief he reached a physical, mental and emotional peak.   

At his wits end; “How long, O’ Lord?  How long?” was his frustrated outcry.

For the first time, I realized that I didn't understand Terence’s pain, which left me unsure of how to help him. 

 I’ve never been on that peak; I’ve never had my mortality shoved in my face.  

 I looked into his face that was contorted by frustration.......... what should I do?
 
Periodically, I find myself at a loss of knowing what to do or how to respond. It's then that I call out to the Lord, and He gives me more than intelligence, ideas or good old common sense. He dips into His well of wisdom and allows me to drink from his cup.

So the Lord quietly reminded me of 4 things:

1.     Even if I don’t understand Terence’s pain and    suffering, God does,
2.     That even though we may be, He is never at       His wits end,
3.     He never leaves nor abandons Terence ,
4.     And finally, He reminded me of our wedding  
        vows: 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12   “Two are better than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble”.

 “Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? “
 
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer”.
 “And three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken”

Keep him warm?  Check.

Encourage him when he is down?  Check.

Be his loyal advocate in the oncology office or hospital?  Check!  (This means not allowing nurses to stick his arm 8 times. Sometimes this means I will have to keep his pain management diary because he can’t remember. Sometimes this means I need to run beside him when he’s running out of the Emergency room because “enough is enough!”  Check! Check! Check!).
 

But what about the things I can’t do? What do I do when things are beyond my ability to comfort him?

 The Lord reminded me that when Terence and I read our vows, we wisely braided a cord of three strands together as a symbol of inviting the Lord God himself into our marriage.  

That simply means:
When we are weak, He is our strength.
When we are afraid, He is here.
When we are sad, He is our joy.
When we are in despair, He is our hope.

When we’re alone, His presence stays.
When we don't understand, He is our Teacher.
When we hurt, He is our Healer.


My interpretation-
When we are clinging on, He is our Rock.
When we are overwhelmed, He is our Peace.
When we unsure, He is our Guide.
When life is too much, He is all we need.

  Two are better than one, but three is even better!

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