May I simply keep moving forward.

by sherry
The journey of grief is one that I ultimately decided to complete. Because time moves forward, and so must I. 

I remember (not long ago) when this statement brought a lot of anxiety to my heart. And seeing that everyone was moving forward with life was painful for me. It would sometimes make me angry-  because I was stuck in a painful time warp where nothing seemed real (especially his death).  My days ran into one another and I definitely could not see past the moment.  Great grief was making it so I couldn't transcend time.

 But God's Word is always going forward.  And I need to also. I figured that I need to get into the flow in the unforced rhythms of God's grace...  and together with the coping skills I'm gaining from grief recovery and the grace and strength that come only from Him, I can......I can move forward too!  

That was a conscious decision about a month ago. I intentionally began to detach myself from the need of Terence's presence and focused on building a newer relationship with him- one founded on memories and legacy. There's a richness there that far outweighs remaining in the pain of his absence.

I still have some tough times at (they are fewer now, but I still have them), I have begun anew. I am focusing my attention towards new explorations and beginning to make prayerful and informed choices about my future.  Wow, That's big!

I began a new journal on my Birthday, November 25th  (anyone who knows me, knows my journey's are documented...new challenges arise, marking a milestones).  My daughter Nadine gave me a valuable gift on that day- one that encouraged me in new beginnings. A new challenge.

In Philippians 3:14 Paul says that he moved forward toward "the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (NASB). The Christian life is not static. It's a walk with God that moves you forward into a larger life with God.  In my journal, my daughter started the first page for me. She wrote;
"....as you begin this new life though it's not one you wold have ever asked for, the Lord is still in control..."  and she encouraged me to continue to trust in the Lord as I do this.

The Lord's plan for my new life is pure and simple: Don't lose my grip on honor and loyalty;continue to trust the Lord with all my heart; listen for His voice in everything; seek His wisdom; and honor Him with everything I own. Truely, a Father's delight for His daughter (me!) is behind this!

Lord, may I simply keep moving forward, walking with You. Take my hand and guide me. Thank you....I am experiencing a miracle....a broken heart healing!