Heartache is when your love have no where to go

"Heartache happens when your love have no where to go"

I miss his smiling eyes

Last night I cried myself to sleep.  I had a great day and even went to be feeling at peace but woke up at about 3:30- my mind replaying Terence's last hours.  I tossed and turned- shutting my eyes tightly as if that would make the images go away... and the images brought on powerful surges of grief. 

Someone recently said "Heartache happens when your love have no where to go".  I can attest to that.  I miss Terence so much.  He's gone.  I can no longer reach out and hug him....it feels like my love has no where to go.

However, I discovered something new today. 
There is a love that is driven by compassion and it does have somewhere to go. 

I went shopping today- the cashier asked me if I wold like to make  donation to the American Cancer Society .  I said "Of course............my husband recently passed away from cancer".  The young man standing behind me joined in our conversation- he said " I'm so sorry to hear about your husband......I just got my test results back- I am now 2 years with No Evidence of Disease (NED)".  He told me that he has been fighting stomach cancer since he was 22. He is now 26. I have a son his age.

I started to cry.  Not because Terence had died, but because this young man had lived.  I was overwhelmed with emotion appreciating what it takes for someone to battle cancer.  Without thinking, I reached out and hugged him and said "I am so happy you are alive!!!"

He started to cry.  

Later he told me that he has no family and his wife left him when he was diagnosed. He had faced the journey entirely alone.  He was touched by what I did because there had been no one who appreciated his fight, or his life. 

I genuinely celebrated this young man's life with a hug.  I guess my love does have somewhere to go.

I can't explain what happened inside of me- but when I got home my heart ached less.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn". 

Romans 12:15