September 23, 2012
My intent is to continue to share our journey- "Living above cancer". You've witnessed three years of Terence and I as well as our children painstakingly learn how to live above the unkindness of cancer and it's effects on our family. We are now left behind to deal with the wreckage of cancer and it's final effect, death. How do we go on living- not just living, but living......moving beyond devastation. My desire is that we will say, "I've been devastated but not destroyed".
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| Given to me tonight by Bella |
Devastated-yes, yes I am. But I believe I will find healing in the wings of Christ and in time restoration will come.
Until then I, like any other person who has lost a spouse or loved one and I am afflicted by the results of death; suffering a sorrow so deep- it feels like a surgeons knife slicing through my heart with no anesthesia; I feel deflated and torn, somewhat un-balanced and one dimensional. I have panic attacks (I am told they are called grief spasms) moments (or hours) that seem to come upon me suddenly where I can't stop crying and I re-live Terence's last few days. It's exhausting, horrible and debilitating. I told my best friend "bear with me; even if I start acting crazy, don't de-friend me on facebook, I won't be like this forever".
Terence reminded me many times before he passed away of how strong I am. How able I am to walk through this in the hands of the Lord. And how capable God is in taking care of me. He readied me, prayed for me and prepared me for this day so that one day soon I can rise up out of the ashes, pull off the sack cloth and say "here I am; I was struck down, but not destroyed- thank you Lord".
That's what Terence was all about.
Terence was right, you are strong, courages, and able. You may be broken today, but tomorrow you will be one day stronger. I and many others will 'spot' you on your path to recovery. Push yourself when you can, rest when you can't. Each of us are waiting in the wings, to help you in what ever way(s) we can.
ReplyDeleteKnow that your are Loved, Cherished, and Respected.
Your friend.
Daisy
I don't personally know you, but I feel in my heart that I do. I have been following your postings and praying for both you and Terence. And your strength thru out this was amazing. And I'm praying for you with the many many other people that you and your husband have touch my the Lord continue to shine his face upon you GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY...
ReplyDeleteSherry , I have been praying for you and your family since I first came across your blog . It was 1980 when Ifirst ever heard the words prostate cancer . I was 8. My father was 58. My mom and the youngest of my older siblings(she was 28) and I took care of him for 8 yrs till his passing at 66. Last yr on July 21, 2011, my husband finally received the diagnosis we were dreading. He was 48, 5 days before he turned 49. It devastated me. It still dies thinking about it. But I know my dad was and still is here with me, helping me through it. So is your husband, Terence. He's right there by your side and your children's' sides. He's watching over you all. The grave is just an empty shell for people to visit. But the soul and spirit are with the lord and protecting and watching over their loved ones here on Earth till the day comes when all can be reunited in a better place. Hugs, kisses and love to you and all your family. Your friend always, Tiffany Myers
ReplyDeleteSherry, I am still praying for y'all! Honey, I know your devastated, I couldn't expect any less from someone whose Love for and from your husband, and family is so omnipotent. I appreciate your sharing of the ups and downs. I believe you have Gods strength, helping you through these times! Stay strong in the Lord! You are one awesome woman, and the bearer of a wonderful testimony for Chriatianity! Love and hugs......and most of all prayers!
ReplyDeleteSherry, I am still praying for y'all! Honey, I know your devastated, I couldn't expect any less from someone whose Love for and from your husband, and family is so omnipotent. I appreciate your sharing of the ups and downs. I believe you have Gods strength, helping you through these times! Stay strong in the Lord! You are one awesome woman, and the bearer of a wonderful testimony for Chriatianity! Love and hugs......and most of all prayers!
ReplyDelete