A heart at peace

 Our youngest son Andrew spending time with Pop today.

"And I will give you an heart of flesh." — (Ezekiel 36:26)  A heart of flesh is known by its tenderness. The heart of flesh is tender to God's will.  The natural will of man is cold, hard iron, which cannot even be hammered into form; but the renewed will, like molten metal, is soon moulded by the hand of grace.  In the fleshy heart there is a tenderness of the affections, there is peace,

Terence and our grand son, Ethan

Both Terence and our youngest son Andrew have very tender hearts.  Gentle and tender towards their fellow mankind, family, friends even strangers especially ones in need. God's will is that we be our brother's keeper, bear one another's burden,  lay down our life for a friend and in humility, think others better than ourselves.....at the onset of Terence's relationship with the Lord, he sought this out. He asked for a tender and gentle heart towards others-and the Lord answered that prayer and turned the once heart of stone (Selfishness, selfish ambition, stubbornness) into a heart of flesh.

Having been married to him for 23 years I have been privileged to witness this transformation as he matured in his walk with God; I saw the mistakes he made but I was privy to the aftermath. He wept when he realized the hurt he had caused and begged to have a heart that pleases God.  This is one of the reasons I respect Terence as a man.  He made mistakes; plenty of them. But his mistakes not only  grieve him, it motivates him to change.  What separates the boys from men (of God) is that he always seeks forgiveness and changes his ways.

Terence officiating our daughter Nadine's wedding

During our 23 years, there was a time I was pretty bossy and Terence reacted to me like I was a nag, which made me react accordingly. This was a cycle that was only broken by humility.  All it takes is one person to walk in humility and you have unity.  Any ways- this was our cycle- and I was not the humble one.  He later told me that he had to pray because he was becoming so frustrated with me.  His epiphany was that I was God's daughter- and he was speaking to me disrespectfully and consequently disrespecting the Lord.  Terence's heart, being tender towards the things of God, became tender towards me.  This was a lesson he stuck to for life. He always saw me as God's daughter first.  He began to truly cherish me as the bible describes.  I don't know how many wives out there that can say that. Terence truly cherishes me, and I love him for it (not for the obvious selfish reasons) but because he was a man that seeks the Lord for an answer for his his behavior and character.  Terence never once in 23 years  did he ask me or insinuated that I needed to change- he just kept treating me like God's daughter, and I responded to that.

That's a tender heart. Tender towards the things of God which results a heart at peace.  What more is there in life when you come down to it? Is there more?

~Sherry

Terence's Aunt Shirley from Colorado to visit yesterday.

Medical update-
This is day three that Terence has been bed bound- unable to exert the energy to get out of bed to his chair even with help.  He remains  between a semi-comatose state and sleep. I can tell the difference, most people can't.  He responds to my voice nicely- he either opens his eyes (partially) or lifts his eyebrows or he usually just puckers his lips for a kiss (eyes closed).
His heart rate is high- between 104 and 124. His temperature remains high. His kidney out put is almost nil- his kidney has lost it's ability to filter, so mostly blood and sediments fill his nephrostomy bag.

He's drinking little and eating almost nothing. Today, I struggled with that.  I cried. I still cry.

Spiritual update-
With every last breath of mine  I will continue to hope for a miracle.  Terence himself never stopped hoping- and now that he cannot pray or speak for himself I pray for him, I hope for him, I will never stop hoping for his miracle.  I will defend Terence and his promise of 86 years. AMEN.