No faking cheerfulness here. If we're sad we admit it and trust the Lord to carry us through.

 Sometimes I wonder how much of this cancer journey 

 I should write about. It's not very private and it is quite  humbling.

Quite often you hear my sorrows.  You feel Terence's pain.

You see our family struggle to remain close, to keep smiling in-spite of the fear.  You see us gain weight. You see where we live, 

how we live. You see us on vacation, laughing.

You see us crying. You see us in pain. You see us crazy.

You see us calm.

Personally I think it's valuable for a few reasons.

My sanity, for starters.

And second, hope for others. 

Life and it's woes are real and writing about all this can
restore hope in God, families and friendships again.

How often do any of us write about our current struggles or our ongoing struggles with issues such as depression, anxiety, sickness, financial woes, anger, and the like?

How often do we preach about our current and ongoing struggles?  Most preachers write and preach about the battle after they have won it. Most talk about the valley once we are back on the mountaintop.

  “Oh, I just talked about how last year I battled ...” That’s part of our problem. We write and and share our testimonies about the battle after we have won it.  We talk with confidence about the hardship only after we have come through it and conquered it. 

What effect might it have on our fellow strugglers if we talked about the battle during the battle—while we are still in the valley?  That may require some humility on our part, but how might it connect truth to life if we were honest enough to admit that we are facing ongoing battles?  Do we fear that some will see this as being weak and lacking faith in God?

 I think sharing our story as our pain and struggles unfold is an opportunity for others to grow with us in faith as we learn walk through pain and uncertainty with the Lord.

  No faking cheerfulness here.  If we're sad we admit it and trust the Lord to carry us through.

"My God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you...." Psalm 42:6

This is the utterance of a soul in anguish and the conviction that hope ought to be cherished.  The psalmist is sad. His troubles come rushing over his soul; his heart is oppressed, and he is constrained to confess that, notwithstanding his solemn purpose not to be sad, and the conviction that he ought to be cheerful, and his wish to be and to appear so, yet his sorrows get the mastery over all this, and his heart is filled with grief.  That's honest.

I feel like this all the time!!!  What sufferer has not felt this? When I really wished to trust in God; when I hoped that things would be better; when I saw that  I ought to be calm and cheerful but my sorrows are  like a flood, filling my soul with anguish........

In the end  though, because I know my God,  this anguish compels me to form resolutions anew, and  it drives me afresh to the throne of grace, to beat back the returning tide of grief, and to bring the soul to calmness and peace. Ahhhhh. That's what the psalmist is saying.

"Therefore will I remember you" - (I will look to you; I will come to you) in the midst of these  troubles, and sorrows, and having no source of consolation, I will remember my God.  Even here, amidst these sorrows, I will lift up my heart in grateful remembrance of him, and will think of him alone. 

Is this psalmist (King David) weak and fearful, lacking faith?  In my opinion he honest verbalizing his pain and even his conviction that he should be cheerful through it! And in my opinion  he showed us his wisdom -because after he verbalized it, he looked to his source and found comfort in his God.

Our "Ugly sweater Christmas".  Our family copes with cancer- may not always be a perfect portrait!