A marathon. (by Sherry)
“You have need of endurance” (Heb 10:36)- Ugh. Sounds tiring to me. This stupid cancer feels like a marathon: one intentional step in front of the other, remaining focused, goal oriented, purposed in the day, fixed on the good, concentrating on Terence’s wellness, aiming for a miracle…all of these take mental, emotional and spiritual energy!
We’re learning that resting makes it so we can run (and finish) this race....the Lord doesn’t ask anything of us without giving us grace; the ability to face each day with strength.... just trusting that He is here for us...every day.
I received a card from my friend Yvonne today (I love receiving her cards, they are so timely)! To sum up the card, it said, “When you can’t, He can". (“When you are the neediest, He is the most sufficient. When you are the weakest, He is the most able. When you are the most useless, He is preparing you. When you are the least, he is the greatest”).
In any prolonged health crisis, it is so easy to feel abandoned. In fact, it’s an overwhelming feeling and it comes to mind often, especially when we feel lonely or when Terence is not having a ‘good day’. Though we are never really tempted to give up (how can we?), sometimes the thought of endurance seems impossible.
A good word from a friend often helps us remember to stay focused on truth: how crucial it is for us to tell ourselves the truth, especially when we don’t feel like it. In trials, we face the choice Job faced. We must choose to keep believing that God is sovereign, in control and good toward us, never leaving us or abandoning us.
So in the midst of the marathon called "terminal cancer" all we can do is rest. Literally.
• We are learning to become comfortable with lots of rest. Rest and sleep are gifts, not a waste of time.
• Terence’s body (and mine) rebuild when we relax and meditate.
• We do what we can and feel good about it, not feel bad about what we can’t do.
• We are learning to balance activity and a calm spirit.
• Relaxing. We’re learning that it’s a myth to think we are valuable only when we are productive.
• Terence is learning to not become exasperated by limited energy and ability to work for only for certain lengths of time.
• We are learning to just be calm in the midst of terrible reports, terrible news. We find peace when we remember that our Maker is mindful of us.
So....Terence went fishing today….he caught an 8 lb. silver salmon. He enjoys fishing. I stayed home and read a book. I like reading.
He came home, filleted his fish (for dinner), showered, rested and meditated on some scripture. He’s learning to do things that is good for his body, soul and spirit.
Thank-you for your kind words of encouragement. We are learning how to enjoy the marathon.
~Sherry.
FYI-
- Last TOKAI blood draws tomorrow (9.3.10)
- New scans (bone/CT/MRI) on Friday (9.4.10)
- Onoclogy appointment on 9.8.10 /decisions for future treatment, if any!
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