Terence has had two good days in a row thank God! Saturday evening was horrible, but he slept well and Sunday was a good day for him.
We are still adjusting his diet: he needs a little more fat added to it, so his body can absorb the TOK-001. But we have to be careful with the types of fat, because he has gallstones and the OK-001 already puts stress on his liver, so it’s a balancing act- try it and see- type of time right now.
With the greater absorption of TOK-001 comes greater nausea. He is nauseated more often now, so I assume he is absorbing the medicine, which is good. Just have to deal with the nausea!
His pain meds. situation- well, is pretty much the same. He gets a systemic itch from oxycodone and morphine, even though he has increased the prescription strength antihistamine. So, we are doing the try-it and see- routine with ibuprofen and other combinations.
Trying to live above cancer has been a new challenge.
I have finally learned how to live with it. It seems like Terence got cancer overnight, so accepting it has been hard to face up to. It has taken me at least 12 months for me to be able to wake up and say “
Terence has cancer, and it has changed our lives forever- OK, so what do we do about it today?”
Living above it is something else. For me, it’s getting to a place where it doesn’t negatively affect me & our entire family- I am learning how to say, “
Ok- so Terence has cancer, what will do for us, not to us?” I am not quite there yet.
Some days I feel bullied by this cancer and that makes me angry.
Some days I feel overwhelmed by the cancer, and that makes me sad.
It’s not only the big things that get to me. In fact, it’s usually the plain old everyday details in life- that are the most difficult for me. These become the breeding ground for fatigue & depression.
I have to learn how to "live well”
without Terence being cured.
It feels like a lonley journey.
~Sherry.
